Confusion
Life's most confusing times have not, for me, been when I am in the worst situations. Bad situations are actually quite straightforward--they are simply bad. On the contrary, I find my most confusing, frustrating, psychologically taxing, etc. moments have occurred when most things in the background (food, shelter, job, money...) are fairly well taken care of.
Maybe it is because we have to think to be confused and only have time to think when life goes well. Or perhaps it is due to the fact that decisions are not that difficult in hard times, in that life only has to go in one direction--better. That said, it leads me to wonder if happiness can ever truly be maintained. It usually only takes something very small to throw contentment out the window. In the case of something REALLY confusing, usually involving emotions, as they, by definition, are separate from logic and reason, the best of life can be quickly overshadowed by an enigma that should not affect life at all.
But I guess it wouldn't be confusion if we could understand it.
And if we cannot understand it, chances are we can't do anything to fix it, either. Chalk one more up to the Human Condition.
The Human Condition. It's a chronic, terminal illness, but it's the motivation of so much of what we do in life, if not all we do. It's mortality, emotion, ambition, and everything else that separates us from all that is cold and plastic.
It hurts at times. Depending on the individual, this hurting may or may not be balanced out by the happy times the Human Condition brings as well. But it still hurts, and there is no escaping this fact.
In the end, I suppose all we can do is to continue pushing forward. At times this gets extremely difficult. Sometimes, the mud gets so deep it seems impossible to move even an inch. Other times, the spot we are at is so nice we have no desire to move on. But we all move eventually.
So where are you going? I can't even answer that for myself. I don't know if I have to just yet, but when the confusion really sets in, I just hope I can tell that I am still moving forward.
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